


Staircase Wit

by myowneviltwin



Series: All Ears [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: (Obviously), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers team bonding, Clint has a theory, Clint's Military Kink, Dialogue-Only Sex Scene, Dirty Talk, First Kiss, Inexperienced Steve Rogers, M/M, Manual stimulation, Miscommunication, Oral Sex, POV Steve Rogers, POV Third Person Limited, Sex Acts - Not Otherwise Specified, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:13:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11303622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myowneviltwin/pseuds/myowneviltwin
Summary: Steve Rogers is about to sneak out of Avengers Tower one night, when he overhears his teammates in the kitchen, speculating about his sex life. Steve experiences a wide range of emotions while listening to the argument."That probably keeps you warm at night, huh? Picturing the Cap grabbing a guy by his dog tags, forcing them down on their knees," Clint's voice dropped half an octave. "I bet the Pinnacle of Human Perfection can choke a guy on his cock, come down his throat, get hard again in no time, and nail. the. lucky. son. of a. bitch. through. the. wall." The way Clint's voice broke up his speech made Steve wish he could see whatever gestures accompanied his words. He grunted when he was finished, as though from exertion. "What do you think, Tash, just how Superhuman is our Super Soldier's Superhuman Sex Drive?"





	1. Culture Shock, Indeed...

**Author's Note:**

> Set in an ambiguous Marvel universe, in which almost the whole team (or at least these six characters) lives together at the Tower, and Civil War either didn't happen or went very differently. I've been reading a lot of people's MCU works, and I have basically thrown a bunch of canons and head-canons into a blender with milk and ice, and made a delicious Marvel smoothie.
> 
> Chapter one has no actual sex, just raunchy discussion thereof.

"You just _know_ he's making a commando _howl_ ," Clint said suggestively. 

Steve stopped in his tracks as he registered the words that were a little too close to familiar. He waited, frozen and listening closely, a few feet away from the kitchen where his teammates had gathered.

"Ugh, that's terrible," Maria scoffed through her laughter.

"You know I'm right though," Clint went on. "Can't you just see it? Cap, in all his navy-blue glory, barking orders?" 

Steve could almost hear Clint waggling his eyebrows. He wondered, a bit indignantly, if this was the first time his team sat around, idly speculating about his sex life. 

"Never realized you had a military kink, Merida," Tony deadpanned. 

"Oh, like you don't, Stark? Pretty sure those come standard with your Daddy Issues Deluxe Package."

"Oh, fuck you very much, Katniss," Tony said, more amused than annoyed. Say what you wanted about Tony, at least he had a sense of humor about himself.

"That probably keeps you warm at night, huh? Picturing the Cap grabbing a guy by his dog tags, forcing them down on their knees," Clint's voice dropped half an octave. "I bet the Pinnacle of Human Perfection can choke a guy on his cock, come down his throat, get hard again in no time, and nail. the. lucky. son. of a. bitch. through. the. wall." The way Clint's voice broke up his speech made Steve wish he could see whatever gestures accompanied his words. He grunted when he was finished, as though from exertion. "What do you think, Tash, just how Superhuman is our Super Soldier's Superhuman Sex Drive?"

"Never given it any thought, Clint, but you obviously have," Natasha said, almost tonelessly. 

"Oh, God, do you think he does more than one in a night?" Clint just wasn't going to let the subject drop, much to Steve's chagrin. "Wherever he goes, guys probably line up just for the chance to Serve Their Country."

"Plenty of women would, too," Maria threw in.

"I'm sure they would, but I don't think that'd be Cap's style," Clint mused. "I'm thinking he might be too old-school to dom a lady. Dames are for loving and respecting in the morning - at least in his book, right?" Multiple scoffs and sighs followed Clint's speculation. Steve's was almost one of them - but he wasn't totally sure what "dom" meant. 

"So, you think Cap's a sexist - despite seeing how much ass you two, and Wanda - kick on the regular?" Tony's voice dripped with skepticism. Steve smiled. At least Tony was standing up for him... Sort of.

"It kind of makes sense," Maria said, considering. "He grew up thinking women were more fragile... Even if he knows better now, he still might not trust his own strength, with a woman."

"Not to mention her reputation. Didn't they stone dames to death for premarital sex in the 40s?" Clint agreed.

"It was wartime, not _Bible_ Times!" Tony exclaimed, and Steve found himself silently agreeing.

"Think about it, though," Clint continued, "Cap could be one of those guys who thinks of himself as someone who'll end up with a nice girl in the long-term, the happily ever after - but in the meantime, a Super Soldier's got needs. And there's nothing wrong with 'helping out' a fellow soldier, right? Doesn't necessarily make him a..." Clint trailed off, and Cap was grateful he had. He'd hate to lose all respect for the archer if he finished that sentence.

"Please!" Again, Tony wasn't buying Clint's theories. "You seriously think Cap's a throwback when it comes to sexism - and internalized homophobia - but he's modern enough for military kink and gay BDSM? You don't see a contradiction there?"

"We're all products of our environment, Stark," Clint said, "Just because you're a pan-sexual hedonist who thinks hangups are for the plebeians..." 

"I think you're clearly a product of too many cheesy porn movies," Tony said.

"Well, then how do you explain Cap's Secret Nocturnal Missions?" Clint asked. Steve's heart sank. He thought he'd been relatively stealthy, getting in and out of the tower late at night. 

"Simple: He's trying to meet someone," Tony replied. Steve bit his lip in his unconscious anxiety.

"For kinky gay sex!" Clint nearly shouted, and at least a few people laughed. "If he wanted to meet a nice girl, he wouldn't be sneaking out in the middle of the night. He'd be going to church socials and charity fundraisers, and he would've asked one of us to tag along and be his wingman."

"Right. Because _you're_ so great at helping, and _definitely_ wouldn't be a complete tool about it," Bruce snarked. Steve hadn't even realized Dr. Banner had been in the room. 

"I resemble that remark," Clint shot back, "But he could've talked to any one of us. He's keeping it from everyone."

"Did you ever think that maybe he's embarrassed?" Natasha asked.

"Yes," said Clint, enunciating as though Natasha were being particularly dense, "he's embarrassed because," he paused, "he doesn't want us to know that," he paused again, "he loves the cock!" 

"You don't know that, though," Natasha mused. "Maybe it's the opposite of what you think. He could have a secret submissive side that he doesn't want anyone to know about. Maybe he's sneaking out in the middle of the night because what he really wants is to _take_ orders for a change. Sometimes what a powerful leader _really_ needs is to be broken down. Maybe Steve's so tightly wound he needs to submit in order to get off." 

"Eh," Clint said, dismissively. "Sounds like wishful thinking on your part." The room suddenly got eerily quiet - then Steve heard a loud smack, followed immediately by Clint's plaintive, "Ow!"

"Or maybe," Natasha continued, this time imitating Clint's "I'll-explain-this-slowly" tone and rhythm so well it was almost uncanny, "he's embarrassed because he's a ninety-year-old man with no dating experience."

Steve felt his face redden, and his throat went dry. He also felt a powerful need to defend himself. He really didn't think the years he was frozen should count.

"Oh, that's adorable!" Clint said, in a mocking tone. "You think Cap's really a sweet, awkward virgin? The All-American boy next door, with his virtue still in tact? You think Cap didn't get his during the war? Now who's being ridiculously old-fashioned?" Steve's throat tightened and his stomach clenched. Was it really so unlikely and shameful for him to be as inexperienced as he was?

"Maybe he is, maybe he isn't," Tony piped up, his voice thoughtful, "but even if he got laid 24/7 in the 40s, he has zero experience dating in the 21st century. Everyone he cared about is long gone. And he probably didn't feel like he could come to any of us for help and advice, since we're kind of his subordinates." 

"Or because he thought at least _one of us_ would be a complete tool about it," Natasha threw in, probably giving Clint one of her shark-like grins.

"I'm not his subordinate," Maria said, "And I think Steve thinks of us as friends, now, not just members of a team."

"Do friends really sit around speculating about each other's sex lives?" Natasha asked. 

"Yes," Clint and Tony said in unison, then laughed.

"Well, at least we agree on that, Legolas," Tony said with an audible grin.

"If you actually want to know where he's going, you could just ask him," Bruce said, and Steve nodded in approval. It was the most sensible thing anyone had said all night.

"What fun would that be?" Clint asked, rhetorically. 

"Poor Cap," Maria said, "The culture shock has got to be _intense_."

"It has to be lonely," Tony said, in an unusually soft voice, "being a Man Out of Time. We should just let him have his secret rendezvous and stay out of it. Personally, I hope he finds what he's looking for." Steve felt oddly touched. It was almost worth the awkwardness of hearing the rest of the conversation, just to know that Tony was on his side, wanting good things for him.

"I'm telling you: he already found _it_ , and _it_ is _an underground gay sex club_ ," Clint said, before being drowned out with a mix of laughter and groaning. 

"Maybe it is, I honestly wouldn't care," Tony said, "or, maybe it's just a person - man or woman - who Steve can trust to be patient and take care of him, and love him." Steve felt like his heart leaped into his throat and his cheeks started burning. Tony continued speaking, but Steve couldn't hear over the sound of his heartbeat in his ears. Steve forced himself to take a deep breath. 

"You'll see! It's only a matter of time before someone snaps a cell phone photo and sells it to the tabloids."

"Well, you could always try following him and getting the proof yourself," Natasha suggested. "It sounds like you'd really enjoy that."

Clint didn't say a word, but by the way the room erupted with laughter, Steve wished he had. He wondered if he could ask Jarvis to play back a video of the conversation, later, so he could see the reaction that had everyone cracking up. He probably pretended to gag, or something. Steve turned around and headed back to the stairway. He didn't feel like going out tonight, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After lurking on AO3 for over three years, I have finally popped my posting cherry. I feel weird and anxious about it. In real life, I'm a playwright, and there's a reason for that. I like writing dialogue, but this prose thing is freakin' hard, y'all. (Oh, my God, I hate describing things!) This conversation got into my head and demanded that I write it, and I'm sharing it in the hopes that I might keep writing this piece, or new stuff. But I'm a little bit (very) afraid it might be terrible. (Please be gentle with me, I'm fragile.)


	2. Two to Speak the Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left me kudos and comments on chapter one! It definitely kicked my ass into gear to write & post more!
> 
> Still no sex in this chapter, but if all goes according to plan, we'll get there next time.

In the days that followed, Steve couldn't stop thinking about the conversation he had overheard. The things his team had said just kept repeating, on a mortifying loop, in his mind. He replayed it over and over, and he found himself dreaming up comebacks and quips - even though it was far too late, now. He didn't want anyone to ever find out that he had been listening. The very idea made him want to never leave his room again.

Still, the first time he ran into Clint, he had to bite his lip to keep from blurting out, "You really want to know where I'm going at night, bird-brain? Why don't you ask YOUR MOTHER?" He resisted the temptation, but only by scowling until Clint took his cereal and left the kitchen. 

Which was bad enough, but his reaction to seeing Tony was _so much worse_. He was punching the heavy bag in the gym when he heard Tony's voice behind him, and immediately, he felt paralyzed by terror, shame, and desire, simultaneously. He felt like a deer in the headlights, if the deer also had a hard-on. He fled the room, too flustered to even attempt an excuse.

The minute he closed the door to his room behind him, he collapsed against it, sliding down to the floor, slowly, with his head in his hands. What was wrong with him? Was he really such a pitiful loser that he couldn't keep his emotions under control anymore? He needed to get himself back in check before someone realized what was happening. He needed to just forget that Tony had ever said all those surprisingly insightful things about him, and what he needed--

A knock on his door startled him out of his self-recrimination. "Hey, Cap?" Tony called out.

Steve's eyes went wide, and he scrambled away from the door, nearly tripped over his own feet in the process. He took a deep breath, in a desperate attempt to calm his racing thoughts. "Yeah?" he asked in a strained tone.

"Can I come in?"

"Um," Steve, for the life of him, couldn't think of a single reason to say no. He opened the door. "Good morning, Tony. What can I do for you?" Gosh, he sounded awfully stiff and formal. Why was this happening? What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just act normal?

"Is something wrong? I feel like I just chased you out of the gym. Did I say something, or...?"

"What? No. No. What?" Steve babbled, redundantly. He threw in a dismissive hand gesture for good measure. It didn't help.

"What's going on with you?" Tony asked. 

Steve swallowed. He knew he wasn't a great liar, he was nervous and awkward, and Tony wasn't an idiot. He took a deep breath. "I... I know."

"You know.... what?"

"I know you were all talking about me. It's... not that a big of a deal. Apparently, that's just something people do, nowadays, they sit around and joke about how pathetic their friends are--"

"What? Cap, what the hell are you talking about? Nobody thinks you're pathetic."

"Come on, Tony, I heard you all, the other night. Clint, Natasha, Maria - you were all--"

All the blood seemed to drain from Tony's face at a speed that would've made a lesser man faint. "Oh, fuck. We didn't mean anything by it. Fuck, no wonder you're weirded out. Shit... Cap, I'm really sorry."

"Well, I shouldn't have been eavesdropping, so--"

"We shouldn't have been objectifying you like that--"

"It serves me right, really, now I know what you all really think of me, and yeah, okay, my feelings are hurt, I can admit--"

"Hurt? What?"

"It's not that big a deal, I don't want it to affect the team, I just need a little time to, I don't know--"

"Don't you mean _offended_?"

"What?"

"I'm confused," Tony said, almost to himself.

"Imagine how I feel," Steve said. "I'm the freak who's lost in time, or whatever."

"What? I think you got the wrong idea, Cap--"

"I heard the whole conversation!"

"Are you sure? Because nobody was making fun of you, I promise."

"Clint thinks I'd have to go to some sleazy, underground lair to find anyone who'd want to - be with me!" Steve's traitorous voice cracked a little and he clamped his mouth shut to swallow hard against his rising emotions.

"Oh, Cap. No--" Tony's face was like an illustration of the word "pity". With maybe a little "guilt" thrown in for good measure. Steve couldn't stand it.

"Stop looking at me like that, Tony! It was bad enough hearing that you all feel sorry for me, I don't think I can stand seeing it, too." Steve turned around and covered his face with both hands. 

"You didn't see us," Tony said. "You... Okay, I think I see how you could have misunderstood what was-- Listen, Cap, you got it all wrong."

"I heard the whole thing, Tony, I--"

"But you didn't _see_ it. Jarvis, can you play back the conversation we had in the living room the other night? On the monitor, please?"

Steve spun around to stand in front of the monitor and yell up towards the ceiling. "No! Jarvis, don't! Cancel! Control Z! I don't want to see it. Please, Tony, just, let's drop it. I don't want to--" Steve thought he might actually commit violence against the electronics if he had to go through that again.

"Cap. Steve. I promise, you've got the wrong idea, here. Nobody was feeling sorry for you, okay? If you won't watch the feed, then you have to take my word for it. Nobody on the team thinks you're pathetic, or a freak, or whatever you've been telling yourself. The truth is..." Tony paused to take a deep breath. "We all think you're pretty fucking amazing."

Steve scoffed. "Amazingly sad and lonely, you mean?"

"No, amazingly HOT, you star-spangled IDIOT!" Tony looked like he regretted his outburst, the moment it left his mouth. He grimaced. 

Steve had to open and close his mouth a few times before finally squeaking out a weak, "...What?"

"Come on, Cap. You know you're ridiculously hot. Didn't Clint say something about guys lining up for the chance to--"

"Because of the uniform. Because they have some kind of Captain America _fetish_ , not--"

"No. Or, at least, not entirely. It's not the uniform, C-- Steve. It's you. Everything Clint said about you - that's his... Lord, give me strength... it's his fantasy scenario."

"No, you were all laughing at me."

"No, we weren't. If anything, we were laughing at ourselves. And Clint. Mostly, we were laughing at Clint, I mean, he's, like, 95% straight, but you're... you're the exception. Because, well, because you're pretty fucking exceptional. All that BDSM stuff Clint was talking about you doing to strange men? That's what he thinks about when he jerks off."

"What?!?" That was ridiculous... wasn't it? "Did he say that?"

Tony made a series of flustered hand gestures. "I don't know if he _said_ it, but. It was _very loudly implied_." 

"Clint... wants to get yanked around by his dog tags? He wants to--?"

"For both our sake, please do not to finish that sentence."

Suddenly, Steve was replaying the entire conversation in his mind, but in a very different light. What Tony said actually made some sense. Clint had used the word "lucky" to describe one of his fictional partners. Clint had teased Natasha for her "wishful thinking"... what if...? No, it couldn't be...

"Does that mean Natasha _wants_ to--?"

"Again, it would really be for the best if you don't finish that sentence, and then never think about it, ever again. For the good of the team, and you know, my blood pressure, and all..." Steve nodded. Natasha was, indeed, somewhat terrifying. He set that aside, for the moment.

"So, you don't all think I'm some kind of... pathetic, ancient... freak...?"

"Of course nobody thinks that! God! They were all talking about where you go at night because they all _wish_ they were involved in it."

Steve couldn't help but notice his suspicious pronoun use. The question was out of his mouth before he had time to consider it. "What about you?"

Tony looked away. "Don't ask me that. Please."

"Why not?"

"I don't want it to be weird, okay? I don't want you to freak out."

"Why would I freak out?" 

"Um, you were upset about people thinking you might not be straight. Forgive me for thinking that you might be bothered by a very male friend having very not-straight thoughts about you."

"What? I don't care if people think I'm gay, Tony! That's not why I was upset."

"Oh, really? You're not panicking right now about being mistaken for a..."

Steve fixed Tony with a glare. "First of all, give me some credit. You know me, I'm an open-minded guy. And second... okay, this is not how I planned to tell anyone this, but, I'm not so sure it would be a 'mistake', as such. At least not completely."

Now it was Tony's turn to be gobsmacked. "What are you saying?"

Steve took a deep breath, and forced himself to make eye contact with Tony. He fought against his dry mouth and clenched throat, forcing the words out. "I'm not going to panic if you tell me you're... attracted to me, Tony. Or, not the way you think, anyway... I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing, and that's... intimidating, sure, but, if you're saying that you _like_ me... that you... want... me... I. Um, that would be good. Amazing, actually, because..."

Tony rushed into Steve's personal space so quickly Steve's head started to spin. "I am, yep, I am saying that. I like you, I want you-"

"Me too," Steve groaned, just before finally pressing his mouth to Tony's.


	3. What Remains Unspoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having a REALLY hard time writing anything that wasn't dialogue. So, I decided, fuck it, I'll just lean into it. Hope you guys like it, and don't feel ripped off! Somebody, please let me know if you think I should change the rating.

"Holy hell-fire in a hurricane, I'm kissing Captain America!" 

"Tony, please, shut up."

"Good idea, yes, shutting up now."

"Do you want--"

"Yes."

"You didn't let me finish."

"Doesn't matter, answer's still yes."

"Well, in that case, take this off, and get on the bed."

"Aye-aye, Captain!"

"Huh, if I'd known it was that easy to get you to follow orders, I might have kissed you sooner. Do you have that thing you said Clint has? A military kink?"

"I have a kink for just about everything related to you, even tangentially. Military, time travel, plaid shirts with khakis, drawing, Brooklyn, you name it, I'm into it."

"That is an excellent answer, Tony, thank you. Me too. Same, here. Could you, like you were doing before, to my neck? _Hmmmm, yeah_ , that's, oh, that's so good--"

"God, Steve! I've thought about you like this so many times, but I never thought it would be me. Like, never, ever, in a million years, ever. Look at you, you could have anyone--"

"I wanted you for so long-- _uhnnnnf, right there_ \-- but I didn't think you'd waste your time with someone-- like me, inexperienced, I mean, I thought you'd want someone who knows what to do--"

"Steve, are you kidding me? You being a virgin? Incredibly hot. Getting to be the first person to see you like this? God, there's so much I want to show you and teach you and I--"

"Yes, Tony, please, yes, show me, tell me what to do, I want you so much, I can't stand it--"

"We can take it slow, if you-- This isn't going to be a one-time thing, right? Like, this is going to be all the times?"

"Yes! I'm so glad you said that, yes, please, I want lots of times with you."

"So, we don't have to rush, if you just want to make out, I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to do anything that you're not ready for--"

"I really appreciate you saying that, and yeah, maybe we can wait on some of the more complicated stuff? But, right now, I think I might actually _die_ if you don't _touch me_ in the next-- _ohhhhhh, Tony, God_ , I'm not-- I won't-- I can't last, _hnnnngggghhhhhhhh_ \-- that feels amazing-- can I? I need to be touching you, too, can I?"

"Fuck, _yes_ , please, yes, oh, yes, yes, just like that--"

"Tony, _oh, God_ , you're going to make me--"

"You like that?"

"God, yes! _So much--!_ "

"Are you going to come for me?"

" _Ohhhhhh_.... Tony! That's--"

"Come closer, yeah, just like that, oh, perfect, yes, do you feel how fucking hard I am, how much I want you, how bad I want you to come all over my hand, and my cock, get your spunk all over me so I can use it to get myself off--"

"Tony, ohhh, I need, I need--"

"What do you need, baby? Show me, wrap your hand around mine, that's it, yeah, you like how that feels, sliding together? You like feeling our cocks, all slick and hard and so hot, together? Oh, yeah, that's it, God, yeah, that's it, you don't have to hold back, I'm so close, just watching you, seeing you, desperate and bucking and moaning for me, yeah, let go--"

_"Ahhhhhnnnnnnggggggggghhhh--"_

_"Ohhhhhh, fuuuuuuhhhhhhh--"_

_"Mmmm."_

"Yeah."

"Tony, _oh my God!_ Is it always that good?!?"

"Oh, Steve, honey, it gets _sooo_ much better."

"Will you show me?"

"I can hardly wait."

.......

 

"Tony, are you awake?"

"Oh my God, how are you hard, _again_?!?"

"I... have a lot of lost time to make up for, okay?"

"Hey, not complaining. _Impressed_ , really--"

"We don't have to do anything, you can sleep... I mean, if I've _worn you out_ , already..."

"Ha, very good, Rogers. Challenge accepted. I'm guessing no one's ever gone down on you?"

"No..."

"Can I?"

"Uh-huh... _Oh, Tony!_ "

"Keep talking to me. Tell me what you like."

"Oh, God, I can't-- words?! Your mouth, Tony, God! So warm, and wet, and close, and how are you even--? What? Oh, God, you're going to make me come, again, I--"

"Put your hands in my hair, yeah, I _want_ you to come, I want to be the first person ever to swallow your--"

"Oh, my God, stop talking and do it, please, please, don't stop-- _OH! UH! OHHHHH!_ "

"Wow, Steve! Everyone in the Tower probably heard you just now."

"Don't care. Too good. Couldn't help it. Can I do that to you?"

"It's a bit soon for me, baby, but maybe in the morning? You look wrecked, let's just get some sleep, yeah?"

"God, yes, Tony. You wrecked me, that's. Yeah. Sleep. Sleep is good."

.......

 

Steve did eventually cave in, and Tony had Jarvis play the video. He watched how the conversation started, heard everything before he had arrived. He got to hear everyone, including Bruce, teasing Clint about his "obvious crush" on Steve. 

On the monitor, Tony gave Clint a pitying look and told him, "Sorry, Cupid, but you don't have a chance in hell with the Captain. None of us do." Tony sighed. He really had no idea how wrong he'd been.

"Speak for yourself, Stark." Clint shot back, "None of us knows what he's been getting up to at night, sneaking out of the tower. He could be anywhere, with anyone, doing any. Thing." Here, Clint pretended to fan himself with a magazine while his eyes visibly dilated.

Tony and Steve watched from the bed, Steve blushing the entire time, while Clint bucked his hips provocatively as he described what he imagined Steve doing to anonymous men. He saw the longing in Maria's face when she said, "Plenty of women would, too," and had to look away. He couldn't believe how much he'd missed by just listening in. It was amazing how much of communication was nonverbal. 

"They all want you," Tony said, snuggling closer to Steve and kissing his clavicle, "but now you're mine. And I. Don't. Share." 

Steve shivered in anticipation. "I'm yours," he agreed.

"So, wherever you were sneaking out to, you don't have to tell me, but--"

"It's called Open Door. It's part support group, part singles-mixer-club-thing. I was having a hard time figuring out what label fit me. There are all these categories now, and I kind of felt... overwhelmed."

"Labels are for clothes, not people. At least in my opinion."

"But, nowadays, it seems like... dating, sex, whatever, it's all these rules and games and-- well, it's like dancing, right? If someone hasn't taught you by a certain point, it becomes, you know, too late. To ask. Because everyone else already has it figured out."

"Are you hinting that you want me to teach you to dance? Because I will be happy to. And, I understand if you want to keep going, to your group. I'll come with you, if you want."

"Thanks, Tony. I promise, the only place I'll be sneaking off to in the middle of the night is up to your floor. Now, hush, I want to hear this part."

"Maybe it is, I honestly wouldn't care," Tony said on the video, a moment later, "or, maybe it's just a person - man or woman - who Steve can trust to be patient and take care of him, and love him." He grumbled something softly under his breath that was drowned out by the others.

"Jarvis, could you rewind 15 seconds, please? Play that part again?" 

"Certainly, Captain Rogers."

But even after listening a second - technically, third - time, Steve couldn't make out what Tony said next. 

"What did you say?" Steve asked the Tony lying next to him on his bed.

"It doesn't matter, now."

"Okay, but, tell me anyway."

"I said, 'I will try not to murder them in a jealous rage.'"

Steve smiled. "That is the sweetest murderous threat I have ever heard." Tony laughed. "I'm starting to think you're secretly a romantic, Iron Man," Steve whispered softly as he stroked his neck and slid his fingers into his hair. Tony let out a soft moan, and Steve brought their lips together, again.

On the screen, Natasha joked, "It sounds like you'd really enjoy that," and the entire room burst into hysterics as Clint clutched his chest at the suggestion, and pretended to swoon - so convincingly he fell backwards out of his chair.

But Steve and Tony had already stopped watching.

.......

 

"Stark, come on. Tell me _something_!"

"Not happening, no way, stop being such a pervert!"

"Just tell me whether or not the serum enhanced _everything_ , even his--"

"No! Final answer! Drop it, or I'll tell Steve you asked."

"Damn, man. _I_ would tell _you_ things, if I were the one hooking up with Cap!"

"But we're not just 'hooking up', Clint, it's _more than that_."

"You mean, like, bondage, or--?"

"I mean _emotionally_! We're... committed."

"Hmph. You probably should be committed."

"Ordinarily, I would say you'll meet somebody else, plenty of other soldiers in the sea, and all that, but, actually, there's nobody else like him, in the world. Sorry, not sorry."

"I hate you," Clint pouted.

Tony smirked. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments! I don't know if I would have finished this without your input, it really means a lot to me!


End file.
